A Sacred place

05.25.2025

Happy Sunday, I guess? Still seeking employment, still trying to keep busy while honestly not feeling very motivated to do much of anything a lot of the time. I've spend a lot of time the last two months doing stuff; art, music, the like. But I can't stay focused on any one thing. I haven't even made any new notes for my DND game with my partner. I need to figure something out so we can play next Tuesday.

I got a text from my old supervisor this morning telling me to contact this guy who runs a company similar to my last job. I scheduled an email to contact them hoping I see something positive. I'm sort of anxious because, sure, it's similar to my last job, but it may not really be what I want to do, you know?

Memorial Day is tomorrow, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do. My partner is going with family to help their grandmother with their yard or something. I don't like getting dirty, so I don't know what I plan on doing. It feels like an excuse to see family or friends or something, but IDk if I actually want to do that, or if I want to just stay in my peace of mind at home.

I keep finding myself craving this sort of broad social experience that I feel I had when I was younger. I've always been shy, but I used Gaia online and Myspace (and the like) to express myself and communicate with strangers. The web is so...corporate, so sterile and stifling. I just miss the sort of kindness and freedom one used to get playing MMos and browsing forums in the early 2000's. This site is really nice, but a social hub it really is /not/. I need contact; even the most small.

02.24.2025

It's Monday, the last Monday at this job I have currently. I can't help but feel very jaded and upset, but I think that's a greater symptom of this society we're stuck in.

To see a company that was really nice just...get bought out and begin sucking immediately is hurtful in a way I never thought I would experience.

Now I have to figure out something else to do that would make money. I can't afford my HRT without any income. I need to keep it going. I'll rather burn through my savings than go back to looking like I did.

01.20.2025

Today I finally took the plunge and started up the Neocities stuff to make a website. The plan in my (and my partner's head) is to make websites for ourselves, and when my art skills improve we make a site for the two of us to make a webcomic.

It's definitely refreshing seeing all these sites, they take me back to the old geocities/angelfire days where the web was more loose and disconnected. It's sort of refreshing seeing sites like these where the aren't so...integrated.

Every social media site and service are all linked together, a bunch of corpo slop knotted together like the the heads of a confused hydra fighting its other heads over food. These sites seem individual focused, yet allow for expression and connection in a more divided way. That isn't a bad thing, I think.

I used to wish for more ways to connect. My high school girlfriend only communicated through Gaia Online PMs for a long time. I wished I could just message her and her always see it. At the time, I craved that constant collection. How silly that is now. We can't even go onto a site without an online status indicator. Every site in the surface-web does nothing but scrape user data and sell it to advertisers who flood every platform with out of touch attempts to make a sale. If I wanted to see products, I would be on eBay, not Facebook, not Twitter.

This experience also gives me some time to figure out some very old-web HTML stuff I hadn't even thought about since my Gaia profile days. Figuring out what symbols do what, trying to get my background to show up. Linking my pages together to make a coherant site. It's refreshing and has really added to the burst of creativity I've felt lately. Even the images on the main page are photos I've taken and edited. It feels like I'm not 32 lol

For now, (for convenience's sake) I'll imbed my actual Tumblr blog so I don't have to edit the html every time I want to post lol. The blog is singleactionjack.tumblr.com, and may not show on mobile. But c'mon, who is using this site on mobile?